The Well-Balanced Family: Reduce Screen Time and Increase Family Fun, Fitness and Connectedness by Robert F Myers

Author:Robert F Myers
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781543961058
Publisher: BookBaby
Published: 2019-02-28T15:59:24+00:00

CHAPTER 12

Handling Conflicts

Relationships are made up of two or more individuals with different temperaments and personalities. As a result, disagreements are going to occur. It’s not a matter of if a problem will arise, but how to solve it together when it does. In this section, we will examine how to resolve conflicts with other family members, including you and your partner, inter-sibling conflict, and disagreements between you and your children.

How to Cope with a Disagreement with Your Partner

Take a Break. There is great wisdom in the advice of stopping and counting to 10 when you’re angry. This buys you time to avoid a quick reaction that can inflame the situation. Taking a break can be, “I think I need to take a walk to settle down,” or “Let me just have some time to myself and let’s come back and work on this.” This does NOT mean storming out or avoiding the problem altogether. It’s a cooling-down period to hopefully usher in reason and logic as opposed to reaction and anger.

See the Other Side. Once the strong feelings have settled, take a moment to try and view the situation through the eyes and heart of the person with whom you’re arguing. If you do this consistently, in time, you will grow to understand the person instead of being inclined to attack them. This takes practice, which requires a decision and a choice. If you keep at it, eventually it will become a positive habit.

Find Common Ground. Think about the things you agree on and in which you can find commonality. If you can outweigh the negative thoughts with positive ones, you will find it much easier to resolve your conflict. You can start to remind each other that you’re partners rather than enemies.

Really Listen. It’s natural to want to explain your side, be defensive and shut off listening to your partner. However, this only alienates and causes hard feelings. Both of you need to sit back and absorb what the other person is saying. Ask questions about their point of view. Repeat to them what they’re saying to clarify if you understand correctly. This will take the conflict from hostile back to a place where you care what the other person is thinking and feeling.

Compromise When Possible. If possible, compromise and negotiate. There are times when too much is at stake to give up your position and find a middle ground, but most of the time, it’s quite manageable to find a solution that can eventually work for everyone. Work together to find a way for everyone to feel that the outcome is reasonable.

Let It Go. If you have gotten caught up in a mess that seems impossible to resolve, decide to end it immediately. If you conflict with someone who is important to you, remind yourself that the relationship is worth more than being right. Forgive each other and move on. It’s rarely worth winning an argument if you damage a significant relationship in the process.

It’s essential to understand that not all couple issues can quickly resolve.

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